Monday, August 23, 2010 @ 9:40 PM
stressed out.
I'm very disappointed in those whom i know.. they didn't even know that i'm not feeling well...
they didn't even know that i'm stressed out..
they didn't even know that i'm tired..
they didn't even know that i felt invisible around them..
they didn't even know that i'm disappointed in them..
they didn't know..
they never ever tried to understand me..
EPIC.
bye.
Labels: stressed out
Tuesday, August 10, 2010 @ 12:11 AM
bored.
slept till noon
use com till 7+
played badminton
use com again.
2moro maths is cancelled. got class outing.
meet ehub at 11. play bowling.then maybe watch movie with friends
think that the outing will fail.
will be meeting pam and nizam at 9.30 then meet geraldine.
ITS THE 7TH MONTH! GHOST FESTIVAL!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO 'ERHEM'!
i dun see any difference seriously.
still quite excited how 2moro outing will be! nights!
imissyou
Labels: bored.
Monday, August 9, 2010 @ 1:02 AM
tired.
heyheyhey!!!
ahaha camp overnight in school on thursday cuz of 25th.
was quite fun!
after school got rehearsal. then after rehearsal went home pack thins then come school again. its about 7.15 when everyone reached. everyone went for dinner.by 8.15 assemble.
playplay talktalk till about 10+ 11. its about time to get them to sleep
however, they cant sleep. many of them started to really doze off at 12+ 1++
everyone are to wake up at 4.00-4.30 AM
excos didn't really sleep. we went out of school at 11+ to buy drinks for 2moro's breakfast
came back at around 12+ then i think around 1+ me and weixiang and cs is hungry so we ordered mac.the person came at around 2. we stay outside GO and finish our food. pam and i ordered sundae hot fudge.its damn nice!
reach dorm at around 2.40
then WX say he have to sleep if not cannot he 2moro confirm stone.but he use com till 3+ then sleep.JR was watching movie all the way.pam slept for a while,and she actually sleep walk. i'm doing hmwk then walking around to see if they are asleep.
at 3.30, me and pam went to wash up.apparently, we met christy they all outside and was shock that they actually woke up early.
at 4.00AM with the help of mr heng's morning call, everyone was awake by 4.30am or even before that. after that they have to pack their things and gather. we had briefing till 5.30
everyone get into their own position and started setting up.
at 6, we went to collect our breakfast and everyone must be on standby. then the concert started. and ended. VP thank us for doing a great job and etc.
we went back to our dorm.
as the sec4 AS students got lesson, we all chiong to the other side of AS lab and slept.
because the sec4s haven come so i slept at one corner of the sec4 side cuz the other side was too noisy. but when the sec4s came in after a while, pam then went in and wake me up. my first reaction was. embarrassed T.T so i just carry everything and ran to the other side.then wanted to continue to sleep but i cant. so i'm like. staring into space?0.o and was stoning. O.o then had debrief by the excos followed by mr heng and mr you.
then i rush home. bathe and sleep immediately. from 3pm to 8pm on friday.then 10pm-1pm saturday. and didn't go for maths and still feel tired so i slept somemore. from 1+pm to 6+pm
then woke up. feeling just ok. on com.bathe.then use com all the way till 10+
totally forget that i haven eat anyhting since friday 2am. and is not hungry.then grab a bread and ate. then 10+ went to sleep.
today woke up very early cuz i'm not feeling well. its like. as if my stomach got hole and fluid is coming out from there. i'm in pain. i went to the kitchen to get something warm.
the moment i swallow, is as if i'm being force to swallow. my stomach is a little better. i think is gastric problem. anyway its alright now so i shall not care so much.
i'm done typing! bye people! will try to update regularly! XD
I told angel if I make any eye contact with you or talk to you this whole week, meaning you like me. I've made eye contact with you. I've talked to you too. does that mean you like me?? NO. its just coincident. right??? yes. confirm it is.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010 @ 9:49 PM
broken
went crazy today
trying to plan out all the stuff
tons of sms to be sent and to be received
still need to take note of who have yet to reply
borrowing of ifc shirt not done.new ifc shirt also.
2moro got rehearsal need to give out excuse slip
need to write excuse slipssssss
still got hmwk.gonna buck up for both combine humans & science & EMaths
N.E.mation and SDMA coming up
and. having stayover 2moro
thought sec4s are able to do so too
but kena from mryou as 2moro stayover is not playplay but a serious one
wl went to talk to him.but also kena.
so i believe 2moro i will gg.
people. wish me luck.
i'm dyingtorn into pieces
broken into pieces
still not satisfied?
shattered into pieces
blend into juice
poured away into the drain
flowed to the sea
satisfied?
tired of being a 'strong' person
tired of holding back tears
tired of being a listener
tired of doing hmwk
tired of being an admin
tired of not being myself
tired of trying giving up
tired of being lost
tired of being confused
tired of being blacklisted
tired of liking you
tired of trying my best
tired of taking all the blame
tired of keeping everything to myself
tired of cant find anyone that will really listen to what i say
i'm really tired of all this shit
sawyoutodayagain.youeventalk tomealthoughitsonlyaword.depressed.stressedup
Tuesday, August 3, 2010 @ 9:20 PM
confused.
haven't been blogging for the past one monthThis whole year is gonna be a super duper busy day for me
first. went crazy cuz of the esplanade concert.
second. thought we could relax after that
third. apparently i'm wrong.
fourth. both combine humans and science cmi. EMATHS GG.
fifth. rehearsals for 25th anniversary in school.
six. AS 5hr coursework is on 17 AUG and 25 sept. which is like. 2weeks from now? and. the best thing is. we just started modelling. EXCELLENT.
seventh: whenever you see me, you'll see excuse slips. 0.o
eighth: N.E Mation5 coming up.
ninth: tons of things cropped up = tons of emotions on my face 0.o
LASTLY. i've been trying to avoid it. but i still see you almost everyday. feeling disappointed and depressed. stressed up. sprained my ankle during P.E. few weeks ago. thought nth wrong. but getting swollen. hope nth happen during 6th aug.
imissyou.butwe'renotmeanttobethat'sforsure.tryingtoavoid.bye.Labels: confused.
Thursday, June 24, 2010 @ 8:00 AM
last.
today is the fourth last day before school reopen!!!! i have yet to do my homework!!!!
chionging GAC in AS lab!!! bye!
Saturday, June 19, 2010 @ 2:24 AM
THANKS! :)
hi people!
yesterday is PRSS 25th anniversary concert! or should i say, yesterday de yesterday.
It is also my favourite and worst day ever! this will also be my longest post ever!
i reach school at 8
reach esplanade at about 9+
at first we dont have a room but ended up sharing with hip-hop dance people
change from 1st floor to 2nd floor as the whole stretch of first floor will be used for concert band.
i was not feeling well already as my gum was torturing me for 3days
we did nth till around 11++ 12, we had our lunch
I wanted to eat but my gum was so swollen that it is very difficult for me to swllow...will be even more difficult if i were to bite. Thus, i drank 2 cups of chocolate matt which taste like milo.
there is 2 rehearsals before the concert starts. at around 1, we had the first rehearsal. before that, i've changed to a hoodie(its a long sleeve shirt) when the rehearsal started, pam and i was at the third floor video-ing. i was lying down on the wooden plank that was there and was trying to sleep apparently as the gum was seriously torturous. i started to feel cold and went out of the hall a lot of times. after the first rehearsal, i went to look for a jacket. fortunately, valerie has one and she lent me.
i was having slight fever by then. we're having a break as well as the rest because they need to change their costumes. i think the teachers ordered burgers. I don't have the mood and don't feel like eating thus buying another cup of chocolate matt to drink. my 3rd cup for the day. the full dress rehearsal starts at 3.45. i wanted to go out to the concert hall to look for pam as i thought the only way is by the backstage.however, they didn't allow me to go out as they have started the rehearsal. so i went to the entrance where the audience will come in and i went into the hall and look for pam. i am super unwell and i wanted to tried to sleep. however, i cant sleep cuz of the gum.
when the CO is performing, i dropped a few drops of tears and started getting out of control when the percussion is playing...i cant take the pain anymore...but still can get my tears controlled as i dont wan people to see me cry. pam pass me jiarong's jacket as i requested for another one. but there's no use so i return back.
After the rehearsal, i went to the backstage by the stage and saw junguang so i ask him if he has he say no one have. i ask him to help me ask...then he went to the backstage and saw shirley and ask her. but i asked her before so i know that she doesn't have it. i follow them to the whole stretch of room beside the green room as all the CO people were there. junguang asked randomly and shermaine said she have and she lend it to me, 3rd jacket i wore.
i went back to the green room and saw pam tanching yufang and janice there. they are eating dinner. i wanted to eat but cant bite so i bought another cup chocolate matt. i ask them if they have panadol. tan ching have it but she is at 2nd floor where our bag is. i ask her to help me take later as i thought i still can endure. apparently, i cant.
i went to look for shirley and ask her. she said she dont have so i ask mr wong. he also dont have and ask me what's wrong. i tell him i might be having a fever. shirley said that then wad happen to my eyes as if i'm crying. then i cried. i cant take the pain anymore. i think mr wong saw mr colin lee and tell him wad happen. mr lee ask me to go to green room and rest. he still ask shirley to take care of me. i was quite embarrassed as everyone was staring at me and i'm crying. she took junguang's 'chair' and let me sit. i am very tired and weak. geraldine came and ask wad happen as she was also having fever few days ago. shirley touch my forehead followed by geraldine. they said i was running a high fever. geraldine ask shirley if my temperature was higher than her when she was having fever. shirley said yes and alot.and shirley still can crack jokes. she told malcolm that eh! your gangster is sick leh.and laughed. then i was like =.= ll at this point of time, instead of helping me she was like.laughing?
i tell them i'm freezing cold. they all was like shocked. they are warm becuz the green room was filled with people while i'm freezing. i told them my hand was numb as in i cannot really control the movement of my hand. they touch my hand and was like.woah. so cold.they started rubbing my hands.marilyn and simin and shihui came and ask wad happen. shirley and geraldine told them wad happen.they touch my forehead too. and trying to rub my hand so it wont be cold or numb.but no use. gilian and carnie also came and ask wad happen. after that, ms kuan came and touch my forehead.
she told me i was running a very high fever. she asked someone to buy a hot drink for me to drink. but i told her i drank 4 cups of hot drinks already. everyone that heard this sentence was surprised that i had already drank 4 cups of hot drinks and my hands were still freezing. geraldine went to take her medicine for fever and let me take. after taking it, she told everyone that this is actually not panadol. the teachers and i was like -.- and the rest was laughing. she then continue to say that it is for fever de. then i heaved a sigh of relieve.after that simin and shirley support me to the teacher's room even though i didn't really want to. however, before i even step out of the green room, all my limbs were quite numb and not able to walk properly. when walking up the stairs, marilyn geraldine gillian(i think) was at the back standby in case i fall backwards.
when i've reach the teacher's room, the teachers were concern about my condition. shirley they all went back down to the green room and brought up teh tarik for me. when holding on to the hot drink, my hand started to feel warm a little. mdm mariam went to wet a towel and put it on my forehead.then move it down to my neck. she said that sponging can reduce the temperature. after first round of sponging, i wanted to leave the teacher's room. she said do another round and if my temperature has gone down, i can leave. so i did another round.
i left the teacher's room and wanted to go to the concert hall. but the concert started. there is no way i can get into the concert hall. As i know the flow of the performances, i knew that CO have yet to perform. so i went to look for them. then they was like.shock once again. shirley, geraldine, marilyn, shihui, simin, gillian, carnie, shermaine, benedict, tzu chieh, kaiboon, malcolm and ruixiang was asking if i feel better. i said quite better le. but my face was very red.not because of shy or wad. is because i was still having a fever. i am very hungry.I haven't been eating since wednesday morning. so, can imagine how hungry i am?
i sat on one of the chairs. i told shirley they all i'm hungry. they wanted to gimme bread but i cant bite...then i saw simin and gillian eating chips in front of me. anyway i cant eat so i didn't really care. then after that shirley was saying that it is very obvious that my cheek is one side swollen and one side not.after that i went round asking. i even ask mr colin lee. and people behind him, i think got junguang?,weijie?,kaiboon? was also observing and see if shirley says its true. all of them say dun have, and even if have is not obvious. so is have right??? then i went back to sit.the girls was in the room touching up their make-ups and left with me sitting alone. tzu chieh was asking me, you sit down here not doing anything not bored meh and watching people walking pass you to and fro tons of times not dizzy ah? i replied him, not really as i'm trying to endure the pain so wont be bored. he was like.ohh...
when having the 20mins interval. i went to the concert hall by the front entrance i look for pam. i saw weixiang and jiarong with pam. i told them wad happen. soon, the concert continues. pamela continue to video while i accompany her. i ate geraldine's medicine, thus feel like sleeping. i slept at the wooden plank for a while and shot up as i kena shock by the loudness of the instruments. smth happen and i tried to keep it mum.
after the concert ended, we pack up and board the bus back to school. once settle down on the bus, i asked pam if she could her a very loud growl. she was saying ya and she suspected its me. i told her is because i'm too hungry that's why. she was saying but its quite loud.
i fell asleep on the bus and woke up upon reaching. i went to the ifc room and put the equipment down and went to the first floor. i helped the CO to push their instrument to the CO room.after that i went home.
this is one of my favourite days as I know that actually there is a lot of people care for me even the teachers. it is one of my worst day because this is the 2nd time i felt that i was so unwell that i dun really can control my body.
LASTLY,
THANK YOU FOR THOSE WHO IS CONCERN BOUT
ME! :D
AND REALLY THANKS A LOT TO THOSE WHO
HAD TAKEN CARE OF ME INCLUDING THE
TEACHERS!
Thanks.
the end.LOL.
BYE! will try update the blog! XD
Labels: THANKS :D
tis' the way